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I looked around. There was a patient standing nearby, so I asked her to fetch me some water. It was important to drink plenty after an operation. I wriggled in the bed in an attempt to sit up straighter. I had to breathe deeply to avoid a chest infection. Then I bent my legs up and down, as a preventive measure against thrombosis. I was very tense and distrustful. I watched for possible signs of complications, and took every precaution against any complications arising. I checked my pulse every five minutes and I kept my eyes on the blood transfusion bottle.

After a while I heard her voice again. I was able to pick out a few phrases; 'She's extremely depressed ... I think it's very urgent ... she had a hysterectomy ... only 26 ... ' Soon after, Rita reappeared looking pleased. 'Dr Goldblatt is busy, and he has no free time, but he's agreed to see you in his lunch hour on Wednesday. You're to be there at 12 o'clock. ' 'Thank you,' I said, and meant it. At last there might be a glimmer of hope. I was curious. 'What's he like? ' I asked. 'No, I don't know him personally,' she replied, 'but I know a lot about him.

Sometimes he was just there floating about in my dreams, but at other times he came through much more intensely, pleading with me to help him. In one terrible dream he tried to strangle me, and I woke up lathered in perspiration and gasping for air. Something had to be done quickly. I believed that my only course of action was to return to work. At work I would be kept busy, I would be kept in a regular routine and I would be kept in contact with lots of people. My colleagues at work were also very understanding and were willing to give me all the help they could.